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THIS IS IT!

It really is that easy. If you have a big name concert coming to town and you are stressing about locating tickets, and want to ensure you get in on the presales make use of Google Alerts.

In my case Neil Young was coming to town, so I set up an alert for Blog searches of “Neil Young presale”. And the next morning biggity bam an e-mail was delivered with all the relevant info that had surfaced while I was sleeping.

In my case it turned up a hidden away Musictoday site, that appears to be some reseller arm of LiveNation. Which was able to get me my tickets before Ticketmaster & LiveNation presales even began.

WOOT! Thanks Google Alerts.

In my home in Provence, we have a saying “Prenez la Salade Niçoise, et faites-lui le vôtre.”  Which can be roughly translated into “Love is the Ice Cream of the Soul”.   Provencal France is so romantic. And that is why I made this salad. It is perfect for you fresh Garden Greens, that should be in abundance right about now. The Key Ingredient, the Tuna in Olive Oil, is dreadfully hard to come by around Saskatchewan but should you sink to desperate levels Clover Leaf has your back sorta.

Salade Terise (for 2)

1 can Tuna packed in Olive Oil
3 Cups Garden Greens
4 small ripe red tomatoes
2 tbsp. of Large Capers
2 eggs
1 Red Bell pepper
1 Clove of Garlic
3 tbsp. Olive Oil
1 1/2 tbsp. Red Wine Vinegar

To kick it off get a salad bowl put in it the olive oil, and the red wine vinegar. Crush the clove of garlic then jab it with a fork. Use this garlic fork to mix up your olive oil and vinegar. Then let the garlic sit in the mixture and put it aside.

Now put the eggs on to boil. 12 minutes if you drop them straight into the boiling water, 15 if you let them heat up.

While the eggs are boiling, cut the tomatoes into nice bite size wedges, and the pepper into tiny thin strips.

Once the eggs are done dump out the hot water and put them into a cold water bath.

Now you can take the garlic fork, and any garlic bits in your olive oil and vinegar. Tear up your fresh greens into the bowl, add in the peppers, tomatoes, and capers. give everything a nice toss and pdivide up the salad onto plates.

Slice a cooled hard boiled egg up and place it on the salad. And divide up the Tuna and place it on top of the salad Et Voila! Salade Terise!

A Note on Tuna: You will never be able to get good enough Tuna in Olive Oil, but Rio Mare is pretty good. Everywhere I have found it, it has been pricey ($7 for three 80 gram cans), but worth it. Enjoy in moderation.

I have been working on some of the Google Treasure Hunt problems, breaking out some textbooks, and dusting off some skills. It has been fun so far. But the last problem has me delving back into the Nondeterministic World of Prolog.

All I have ever used was SWI-Prolog so I tried to get it up and running on my Mac. However, the instructions given for installing (not using darwinports, but installable macports mpkg) seem to be wrong at least for OS X 10.5. Try as I might I could not get the command swipl to fire up the trusty interpreter. What I had to end up doing was adding an alias to my ‘.profile’ file in my home directory:

alias swipl='opt/bin/swipl'

Then everything worked hunky dory. Back to the Treasure Hunt!

Ahhhhh. Breakfast in the woods. Few things can rival it. For many years I have been doing the old cast-iron skillet bacon & eggs, or scrambler. While this was always a treat I was always a little disappointed in the eggs, as they would always turn out a bit burned, especially after the bacon had been in there. Or worse if you premake a scrambler you have to haul around a ziplock bag full of uncooked eggs, which is liable to tear/spill and turn everything in your cooler into a mess. But late last year I caught on to an idea that was so ingenious it made me sick with joy.

The Bush Pie Maker can be used for much more than sweet treats. It can be used for Breakfast.

Bush Pie Makers are available from most camping stores, and Canadian Tire. I did not purchase the Coghlan’s brand one from the link, but you get the idea. I’m sure Coghlan’s makes an ill pie maker. Anyways it is basically 2 cast iron plates, that clamp together, fastened to sticks, in which magic can happen when placed over a camp fire. The basic Idea is you make a grilled cheese sandwich but instead of grilled cheese you toss in pie filling, and if you are decadent, cream cheese. The breakfast version will require a bit more preparation but the basic steps are the same. Last weekend I had the opportunity to do some testing, so without further ado…

Breakfast Bush Pies:

Equipment:
1 - Bush Pie Maker
1 - Cast Iron Skillet
1 - Hot Low burning fire

Ingredients:

Whole Grain Bread
Butter
Bacon
Eggs
Bear Spray.

Step 1 ) Cook the bacon in the skillet, there is no way it will cook in the pie maker.
Step 2 ) Save the hot bacon fat
Step 3 ) Make a hot butter/bacon fat slurry
Step 4 ) Take 2 slices of the bread and paint both sides of them with the slurry
Step 5 ) Place the slices of bread in the bush pie maker, make sure to press one side down a bit, so as to make a little nest for your egg as it were
Step 6 ) Tear apart some of your cooked bacon & put it in the nest
Step 7 ) Crack an egg into the nest.
Step 8 ) Seal the deal and cook until nicely toasted.
Step 9 ) Eat and spray any approaching bears

Outtards:

Innards:

Tips:

-If you like your eggs cooked hard, be sure to start off with a cold pie maker.
-If you like your eggs a little runny, warm up the pie maker first.
-Do not ( no matter how tempting ) introduce cheese into the formula. It will end badly.
-Medium/Small size eggs may give you greater success/less overflow on the seal.
-To avoid the Bacon cooking step, you could try a Back Bacon, or Ham
-Do NOT buy artisan/fancy breads for this. You pretty much want you most over processed, manufactured, industrial bread you can get. One with a consistent slice area and teeny tiny little air pockets. Big fluffy sourdoughs are out.

If there is one thing I never knew I was looking for it was a new way to eat pizza. Well travel the world and you may learn a thing or two. And one of those things may very well be how to eat pizza out of a cone.

In my minds eye this was a fabulous invention, I love Ice Cream and the chance to enjoy a non-desert out of a cone seemed long over due. But make no mistake Pizza Hands are neither delicious, nutritious, or enjoyable to consume. It is however, as advertised, a new way to eat pizza. The premise is simple take a cone of pizza crust and fill it with cheese/tomato slurry as well as any toppings, and bake. The outcome…horrendous! The baking process warms the cheese slurry to about 400°F which will sufficiently cauterize your mouth shut.

So next time you are in Slovenia, Korea, or even the birth place of pizza itself… Italy, be sure to stop by the neighbourhood Pizza Hands and pick up a couple, one for each hand.  If the excitement of trying these gooey little affronts on God is too much to stand, OPEN YOUR OWN PIZZHANDS! And have pizza on your hands whenever you please.

Post more? maybe…

Probably one of the better index fund deals in Canada is the TD eSeries Mutual Fund. The MER of %0.31 for their Canadian Index Fund, along with no minimum investment requirements makes this an ultimate winner for web-savvy newcomers with little to no money to push around. However, the entry barriers to actually purchasing eSeries funds makes it almost an intolerable hassle.

Let’s hop in the Delorean and set the clock to Sept. 8 2007.

I walk into my local TD Branch thinking that it will in a few short hours I will be heading home to put in my buy order for some handsomely low fee index funds. Unfortunately, not only can you not open an eSeries Account in a Branch, there was only one TD worker who even knew that this type of account existed. Which makes it extremely frustrating when trying to explain why you want to open an account (I opened a TD account which my eSeries account piggy-backs on). After getting a Basic Savings account I was sent home to print & fill out forms.

Now this is ridiculous, you think if you already had online banking set up it should be a 3/4 click process to open another online exclusive account, a lá PC Interest Plus Account, but nope, you have to fill out a PDF and then… print it out… and mail it in… lame.

Well a couple weeks pass (TD says it would take 1-2 business days after receiving the form) and sadly no new accounts ever appear in my Online Account Summary. So I call TD Investment Services several times, never getting a reason why it has not been processed except they’re “backed up”. Then I get a letter saying I need to fill out a “Wealth Allocation Model” form , basically just a investment worksheet for dummies. So reluctantly I fill out the form and send it in.

Approximately a week later (~Oct. 10) miraculously a new Investment Account appears in my Online Summary! WOOT! Excellent, I would now be able to invest this money that had been wallowing in my TD trivial savings account. I click on the account and get a….. java.lang.NullPointerExcepetion?! WHAT?! Did I code this thing??? Okay well maybe something isn’t set up yet, I let it sit for a few hours, and low and behold I get an e-Mail congratulating me on Opening an Investment Account. MY BAD! Shoulda had some patience. But to my dismay when I logged in again I still received the dreaded CompSci 111 error of doom. I call TD, as usual they are helpful as junk. They say they WILL FOR SURE CALL ME once it is fixed. Neva Happened.

Anyways 2 days later I checked again and the phantom Pointer had found it’s wayfaring object. And I was finally able to place that order 32 days late, but better than never. Awesome.

The next day I get an e-Mail informing me that my order did no go through because “it may not be suited to your
current investor profile”. Golly, good thing TD is holding my hand, like a baby, without a brain. I couldn’t believe this was serious, so I call up TD get a service agent on the phone and ask him what’s the dilly-o. Turns out because of the points I tallied up on my investments for dummies sheet my purchase was, and would continue to be, rejected. I ask him how this gets resolved, and he immediately plunges into the same questions from the dummy sheet. After asking 2 or 3, I stop the insanity and say, I’ve already filled that out, all I want to do is buy the Index Funds. Turns out to do this I need to answer all the questions like a Vegas Gambler on his Last Chip:

Q: What Level of Risk do you Feel Comfortable with?
A: I would bet the Devil my soul for nickle on a Snake Eyes dice roll.

Q:In ten years what is the worst possible case you would feel comfortable with your capital investment?
A: Pissed away and you also now own my house, my car, my first born, and the nickle I won off the Devil.

Q: When do you plan to start withdrawing money from the investment?
A: 10 minutes ago, to hedge against my VLT term deposits.

What a joke. So I went through the whole form again answering the questions like an irresponsible degenerate. Afterwards the Service agent says “That should do it sir, want me to place that order again for you?” To which I naturally replied “Double me down on Black!” And sure enough the order went through.

Over a month later, with about 4-5 hours invested in phone & form time, plus postage (I still can’t believe they don’t have online form submission) I am the melancholy owner of TD eSeries Funds. I guess it makes sense that TD does NOT want you to purchase their eSeries funds, as it makes their other class of index funds look like straight robbery, so the hoops are the tax. Good Luck & God Speed.

Want to save money? Eat only the finest? Buy Local? Then you need to get your hooks into the Underground Meat Market.

Steps:
!) Find a Hutterite Colony that sells chickens, turkeys, and other meats.
2) Put in your order. No funny business.
3) Promise to meet them in a grocery store parking lot.
4) Meet them at said grocery store parking lot at said time.
5) Collect the goods.

This is fantastic in a multitude of ways. First off you are buying frozen meat out of a van. Secondly, you aren’t paying taxes (that you can see at least). Third, it’s the mad cheap. For $49.65 I got one 19.57 lbs. Turkey, and two BIG chickens. Lastly there is an opportunity for exercising the barter system, makes me wish I had some skill that was tangible & useful, and the “fix your computer” card will never work.

Caveat emptor, you will be grilled to smithereens about your conviction to actually go through with the deal. These are obviously cash only deals. And, there won’t be any pop-ups in these turkeys to tell you when they are done, Butterball has nothing on this.

Hutterite Receipts and Turkeys:

&

BONUS: While I can’t say for certain at this juncture, I am 97% certain that these carcasses will be fit for turning into a fine stock. Which if you have ever tried to make stock out of a store bought chicken you know it is a hopeless endeavour.

The best soup I have ever tasted was from Calories. It was “Whole Beet Soup” and since then have been trying to emulate it to the best of my abilities. My current incarnation of this recipe is at about 65% of the Calories version, making it reasonable enough to share. Big HOIIIYOOO! has to go out to my Grandma for supplying the Beets, Dill, and Onions.

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Initially when Google Finance Canada first launched, I was excited. In retrospect I’m not at all sure why, but I was. Anyways it seems to have been a little bit of a let down, basically just because of some poor integration/execution issues

One Box Results -  When I type a ticker symbol into Google.ca’s Search box, if I happen to type in a Canadian Stock Symbol and there is an American stock symbol that matches it, the Finance Chart & Info displayed will always be for the American Company.

Getting to finance.google.ca is a pain -  The dropdown for finance in the top frame of gmail always takes me to finance.google.com. There is no Finance link anywhere on the google.ca page not even in”more” page. There appears to be no way to set which is your “default” version of finance. And so I’m left to type in finance.google.ca in the address bar, and once there it seems to have forgotten if I have already logged into my google account.

Getting out of finance.google.ca is NOT a pain - Should you happen to click in any discussion items you will find yourself back in finance.google.com. I suppose this is to keep group discussions consistent between the two domains, there is a .ca version of google groups so I’m unsure why this is an issue, but it certainly can make things confusing.

Incomplete Historical Data - For some reason the data for one of my iShares ETF’s (XIN)  seems to be stuck at reporting a 1 week rolling window. On top of that the volume chart is way out to lunch only rendering volumes of lower volume stocks, with the lowest measure being thousands per minute, resulting in some pretty hard to read and ultimately useless charts.

 

Mmmmm Pesto. Tasty as it comes, and easy to make, no measurements just  ratios:

-As much basil as humanly possibly

-Pistachios to Pine Nuts, 6:1 ratio, 1:1 ratio with basil

-Garlic cloves to taste, I like about a 1:10 ratio to the Basil Nut mix

-1:8 of total mixture of Olive Oil

Food process it and mix it with pasta, or freeze for a later date.

Speculation, is not something to get into.

BUT if you happen to purchase your investments through bmoinvestorline.com notice that the commision fees for purchasing US Equities is in US FUNDS. ($25US instead of $25CDN) So you will be saving fees along with getting more for your dollar. This would be a really good time to cash in on the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF which had a MER last year of %0.07, which puts iShares to shame! And if you don’t want your win on the exchange rate to be muted by a slowing US economy, buy up Vanguard’s World, Pacific, or European ETF’s all which offer MERs of half or less that of comparable iShares ETFs.

So doing the quick math (Less Commision + Less Managment Fees) * Greater Buying Power = A good idea?

Summertime! And what could be better than an Icy Smooth Refreshing Booze Beverage. Nothing! Problem is blenders have NEVER EVER been able to make a good “blender” drink. While they will usually do the trick, they seldom deliver a Slurpee like texture. Enter our cure-all kitchen device, the Ice Cream Machine! Follow the recipe and you’ll have a killer drink for you and your gal to enjoy on a Hot Summers Day/Night.

Frozen Lime All The Time!

1 Cup Fresh squeezed Lime Juice (you will need like 8 limes to get this)
1 Cup Sugar
2 Cups Water
1 Tbsp Lime Zest
1 Pinch of Salt
1 Cup Smirnoff “Lime” Vodka
1 Ice Cream Machine

1. Put Water and sugar in a saucepan, and bring to a boil. Always stirring.
2. Remove from heat and stir in salt & Lime juice
3. Let Cool
4. Add in Vodka and Zests
5. Let that sit for another couple hours in the fridge.
6. Put it in the Ice Cream Maker
7. Take it out, get hyp-ah.

Lately I’ve been making a move away from the Australian Wines, seems I was a bit possessed by Yellow Tailed Little Penguin named Wolf Blass. Additionally, trying to keep the cost below the $12/bottle mark.

 

So I’m taking it back to the roots, but keeping with the cutesy animals names, I got my hands on a bottle of “Big Fat Llama” Merlot (2004) direct for El País Mayor, Chile. Ringing in at $12.42 ( I think) it was a mighty cup. Full & Fruity and good for gulping, with just hint of cinnamon. If you still care about real corks, Big Fat Llama has ‘em. But the best part is the Winemaker’s name is printed right there on the label. So if I wanted to, I could scour the Cachapoal Valley for José Ignacio Cancino, and give him a pat on the back and tell him to “Keep up the good work!” or “Me gusta su viña, me gusta Tú, José”.

 

 

When Kenny Roger’s Roasters closed its doors a nation wept, and with good reason. Easy access rotisserie was lost for the rest of time. Hoping to rekindle a bit of that magic, I set out to rotisserie a fine bird which I hoped to enjoy while Kenny belted out a beautiful rendition of”Ruben James” in the background.

ROUND 1 - Somethins Burnin’ (I think it’s my love…)

Well things started off just fine, I was thoroughly pumped, my chicken was peppered an stuffed with garlic. To make it tasty. I set it on the spit and let it roar along. Things were looking good so I went inside to finish up supper. 30 minutes later I went out to check on the bird, and much to my chagrin it had sprung loose of the motor and was resembling Tommy-Lee Jones in Batman Forever. Disappointing at best, but ever resourceful, I had a backup chicken should such a situation arise.

ROUND 2 - Always Leaving, Always Gone

There is Chicken Number #2 all spitted up and ready to go. This time I implemented the Mission critical “spit guard” (pic2) preventing any slippage out of the motor. Things were looking encouraging. I was checking often to ensure even cooking, and everything was going as planned. But about another 20 minutes into the cooking process the propane ran out… dag. So rotisserie turned to roast, and it was supper like any other night.

So the take home lesson is one does not just casually wade into rotisserie cooking, it requires planning, triple checking of all possible failure points, and a near limitless supply of resources. It is a style of cooking well suited to architects & astronauts, nary the common man. Perhaps this was the reason Kenny Roger’s Roasters wasn’t able to pull through.

John Bogle The Little Book of Common Sense Investing 5/10

Ever want to feel like scum, sleaze, or perhaps just a good old fashioned greed head. If so pick up a book about investing. It’s not so much that investment books are bad. But thinking about yourself reading one is bad, each turn of the page brings on another shank of self-loathing to the guts.

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