Wellllll now, it doesn’t get much more old tyme than a hot shave. Credit due to my younger brother, who bestowed upon me a gift of a baby smooth face. Hot Damn.
Before getting into this let me preface this with a cautionary note. If you use a hot shave to get rid of a beard, may the power of a posse of dead wild cowboys be with you. You’ll need it if the steel hasn’t brushed your face for a couple of months.
I can’t bring to mind a better place to clean up my act than in a gun shop. Thankfully Pro Line Shooters II in Calgary’s Inglewood Neighbourhood offers just this service. Upon entering the store you are greeted by no one, just racks of rifles and various taxidermy-ed heads. At the front corner is where the Barber Shop is, complete with bright red vinyl chair, and leather strap for honing the blade. Doug is the ornery old barber who treats you with about the same regard, as you or I would treat a sixteen year old talking to us about rap music. But that won’t stop him from shaving the hell out of you.
To kick things off, if you have a beard, that gets trimmed down with clippers. Then, you’re laid back in the chair and the Hot Towels commence. With each steam filled breath, you begin to relax. Thoughts drift to killing a man or perhaps a rare and beautiful beast with a Remington Long Barrel chock full of double-ought. Every so often the towel is replaced and your pores open up, to get what’s coming to them. After 4 or 5 towels, the lather gets brushed on. And what should come flicking out but the straight razor.
“Now, don’t move.” -Doug
Now up until this moment I had always thought that hot shaves are completed in a matter of seconds, with the barber taking a few well placed broad slices, a few strokes of the upper lip, and done. I think this notion may have come from Looney Tunes. Regardless, that isn’t the case. It in fact takes the better part of half an hour, with the barber meticulously running his fingers over every square inch of your face, pulling your skin as tight as a drum, and taking hard short strokes with the razor. This process is repeated as needed, until it feel like every follicle has been rooted out of its happy home. Once, the shave is finished the real pain begins. The aftershave, I think it was called “Polar Freeze”, burned quite fantastically. Saltin’ the wounds.
Afterwards, some more hot towels are put on, then a super cold towel, then you’re on your way. With what I may add is the smoothest shave one can ever possibly hope to have, this cannot be overstated. I felt like I was 10 (17) again! And it lasted for most of the day before the slight gritty feeling returned to my skin. Glorious!
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