business-boy.com blog

Ahhhhh. Breakfast in the woods. Few things can rival it. For many years I have been doing the old cast-iron skillet bacon & eggs, or scrambler. While this was always a treat I was always a little disappointed in the eggs, as they would always turn out a bit burned, especially after the bacon had been in there. Or worse if you premake a scrambler you have to haul around a ziplock bag full of uncooked eggs, which is liable to tear/spill and turn everything in your cooler into a mess. But late last year I caught on to an idea that was so ingenious it made me sick with joy.

The Bush Pie Maker can be used for much more than sweet treats. It can be used for Breakfast.

Bush Pie Makers are available from most camping stores, and Canadian Tire. I did not purchase the Coghlan’s brand one from the link, but you get the idea. I’m sure Coghlan’s makes an ill pie maker. Anyways it is basically 2 cast iron plates, that clamp together, fastened to sticks, in which magic can happen when placed over a camp fire. The basic Idea is you make a grilled cheese sandwich but instead of grilled cheese you toss in pie filling, and if you are decadent, cream cheese. The breakfast version will require a bit more preparation but the basic steps are the same. Last weekend I had the opportunity to do some testing, so without further ado…

Breakfast Bush Pies:

Equipment:
1 - Bush Pie Maker
1 - Cast Iron Skillet
1 - Hot Low burning fire

Ingredients:

Whole Grain Bread
Butter
Bacon
Eggs
Bear Spray.

Step 1 ) Cook the bacon in the skillet, there is no way it will cook in the pie maker.
Step 2 ) Save the hot bacon fat
Step 3 ) Make a hot butter/bacon fat slurry
Step 4 ) Take 2 slices of the bread and paint both sides of them with the slurry
Step 5 ) Place the slices of bread in the bush pie maker, make sure to press one side down a bit, so as to make a little nest for your egg as it were
Step 6 ) Tear apart some of your cooked bacon & put it in the nest
Step 7 ) Crack an egg into the nest.
Step 8 ) Seal the deal and cook until nicely toasted.
Step 9 ) Eat and spray any approaching bears

Outtards:

Innards:

Tips:

-If you like your eggs cooked hard, be sure to start off with a cold pie maker.
-If you like your eggs a little runny, warm up the pie maker first.
-Do not ( no matter how tempting ) introduce cheese into the formula. It will end badly.
-Medium/Small size eggs may give you greater success/less overflow on the seal.
-To avoid the Bacon cooking step, you could try a Back Bacon, or Ham
-Do NOT buy artisan/fancy breads for this. You pretty much want you most over processed, manufactured, industrial bread you can get. One with a consistent slice area and teeny tiny little air pockets. Big fluffy sourdoughs are out.

If there is one thing I never knew I was looking for it was a new way to eat pizza. Well travel the world and you may learn a thing or two. And one of those things may very well be how to eat pizza out of a cone.

In my minds eye this was a fabulous invention, I love Ice Cream and the chance to enjoy a non-desert out of a cone seemed long over due. But make no mistake Pizza Hands are neither delicious, nutritious, or enjoyable to consume. It is however, as advertised, a new way to eat pizza. The premise is simple take a cone of pizza crust and fill it with cheese/tomato slurry as well as any toppings, and bake. The outcome…horrendous! The baking process warms the cheese slurry to about 400°F which will sufficiently cauterize your mouth shut.

So next time you are in Slovenia, Korea, or even the birth place of pizza itself… Italy, be sure to stop by the neighbourhood Pizza Hands and pick up a couple, one for each hand.  If the excitement of trying these gooey little affronts on God is too much to stand, OPEN YOUR OWN PIZZHANDS! And have pizza on your hands whenever you please.

Post more? maybe…

Wellllll now, it doesn’t get much more old tyme than a hot shave. Credit due to my younger brother, who bestowed upon me a gift of a baby smooth face. Hot Damn.

Before getting into this let me preface this with a cautionary note. If you use a hot shave to get rid of a beard, may the power of a posse of dead wild cowboys be with you. You’ll need it if the steel hasn’t brushed your face for a couple of months.

I can’t bring to mind a better place to clean up my act than in a gun shop. Thankfully Pro Line Shooters II in Calgary’s Inglewood Neighbourhood offers just this service. Upon entering the store you are greeted by no one, just racks of rifles and various taxidermy-ed heads. At the front corner is where the Barber Shop is, complete with bright red vinyl chair, and leather strap for honing the blade. Doug is the ornery old barber who treats you with about the same regard, as you or I would treat a sixteen year old talking to us about rap music. But that won’t stop him from shaving the hell out of you.

To kick things off, if you have a beard, that gets trimmed down with clippers. Then, you’re laid back in the chair and the Hot Towels commence. With each steam filled breath, you begin to relax. Thoughts drift to killing a man or perhaps a rare and beautiful beast with a Remington Long Barrel chock full of double-ought. Every so often the towel is replaced and your pores open up, to get what’s coming to them. After 4 or 5 towels, the lather gets brushed on. And what should come flicking out but the straight razor.

“Now, don’t move.” -Doug

Now up until this moment I had always thought that hot shaves are completed in a matter of seconds, with the barber taking a few well placed broad slices, a few strokes of the upper lip, and done. I think this notion may have come from Looney Tunes. Regardless, that isn’t the case. It in fact takes the better part of half an hour, with the barber meticulously running his fingers over every square inch of your face, pulling your skin as tight as a drum, and taking hard short strokes with the razor. This process is repeated as needed, until it feel like every follicle has been rooted out of its happy home. Once, the shave is finished the real pain begins. The aftershave, I think it was called “Polar Freeze”, burned quite fantastically. Saltin’ the wounds.

Afterwards, some more hot towels are put on, then a super cold towel, then you’re on your way. With what I may add is the smoothest shave one can ever possibly hope to have, this cannot be overstated. I felt like I was 10 (17) again! And it lasted for most of the day before the slight gritty feeling returned to my skin. Glorious!

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Every few years an event happens that allows the business boy to reap profits like a day trading coke dealer. This event is the release of the next-generation video game consoles. The hype around console releases can never be understated. And while Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo are all willing to sell these systems at a (substantial) net loss, there is no reason why you shouldn’t even out the curve for them.

Before the jump, it may be prudent to heed a tale of unconventional investing gone awry: When I was a just a spry young chap I had a dream that by this time in my life, my comic book collection would have appreciated in value to the point that I would be able to retire. I mean I had Batman Spawn Team-Up, Wizard 1/2 issues, and the incomparable Brigade #1 Gold Cover (An Aside, The Brigade #1 Gold Cover saw a drop in value of about 87% in the spring of ‘96) But the best laid plans…

Anyways, now that no one cares about the “value” of comics, one has to look to other means to easy street. And while the “market” may be ripe for the picking there are other outlets available, like blackjack, or if you don’t like counting cards the Playstation3….
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We use to be on the dollar bill… THE DOLLAR BILL!!!!

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+1 Sunday

I cant wait for the Wii. I probably spend about 2 hours a day thinking and reading about it. This is a shockwave app that lets you make a Mii (nintendo avatar). Feel my obsession.