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If there is one thing I never knew I was looking for it was a new way to eat pizza. Well travel the world and you may learn a thing or two. And one of those things may very well be how to eat pizza out of a cone.

In my minds eye this was a fabulous invention, I love Ice Cream and the chance to enjoy a non-desert out of a cone seemed long over due. But make no mistake Pizza Hands are neither delicious, nutritious, or enjoyable to consume. It is however, as advertised, a new way to eat pizza. The premise is simple take a cone of pizza crust and fill it with cheese/tomato slurry as well as any toppings, and bake. The outcome…horrendous! The baking process warms the cheese slurry to about 400°F which will sufficiently cauterize your mouth shut.

So next time you are in Slovenia, Korea, or even the birth place of pizza itself… Italy, be sure to stop by the neighbourhood Pizza Hands and pick up a couple, one for each hand.  If the excitement of trying these gooey little affronts on God is too much to stand, OPEN YOUR OWN PIZZHANDS! And have pizza on your hands whenever you please.

Post more? maybe…

Initially when Google Finance Canada first launched, I was excited. In retrospect I’m not at all sure why, but I was. Anyways it seems to have been a little bit of a let down, basically just because of some poor integration/execution issues

One Box Results -  When I type a ticker symbol into Google.ca’s Search box, if I happen to type in a Canadian Stock Symbol and there is an American stock symbol that matches it, the Finance Chart & Info displayed will always be for the American Company.

Getting to finance.google.ca is a pain -  The dropdown for finance in the top frame of gmail always takes me to finance.google.com. There is no Finance link anywhere on the google.ca page not even in”more” page. There appears to be no way to set which is your “default” version of finance. And so I’m left to type in finance.google.ca in the address bar, and once there it seems to have forgotten if I have already logged into my google account.

Getting out of finance.google.ca is NOT a pain - Should you happen to click in any discussion items you will find yourself back in finance.google.com. I suppose this is to keep group discussions consistent between the two domains, there is a .ca version of google groups so I’m unsure why this is an issue, but it certainly can make things confusing.

Incomplete Historical Data - For some reason the data for one of my iShares ETF’s (XIN)  seems to be stuck at reporting a 1 week rolling window. On top of that the volume chart is way out to lunch only rendering volumes of lower volume stocks, with the lowest measure being thousands per minute, resulting in some pretty hard to read and ultimately useless charts.

Lately I’ve been making a move away from the Australian Wines, seems I was a bit possessed by Yellow Tailed Little Penguin named Wolf Blass. Additionally, trying to keep the cost below the $12/bottle mark.

So I’m taking it back to the roots, but keeping with the cutesy animals names, I got my hands on a bottle of “Big Fat Llama” Merlot (2004) direct for El País Mayor, Chile. Ringing in at $12.42 ( I think) it was a mighty cup. Full & Fruity and good for gulping, with just hint of cinnamon. If you still care about real corks, Big Fat Llama has ‘em. But the best part is the Winemaker’s name is printed right there on the label. So if I wanted to, I could scour the Cachapoal Valley for José Ignacio Cancino, and give him a pat on the back and tell him to “Keep up the good work!” or “Me gusta su viña, me gusta Tú, José”.

John Bogle The Little Book of Common Sense Investing 5/10

Ever want to feel like scum, sleaze, or perhaps just a good old fashioned greed head. If so pick up a book about investing. It’s not so much that investment books are bad. But thinking about yourself reading one is bad, each turn of the page brings on another shank of self-loathing to the guts.

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Several years ago I was struck with a desire for palm-top computing so strong it rivaled typhoid. The holy grail of palm pilots of the time was Palm’s Tungsten Line. In addition to Wi-Fi (That’s right 802.11b) it allowed for Cisco LEAP Authentication through a 50$ third party app (AEGIS Meetinghouse), perfect for the campus’ overly strict wireless access policy at the time. Add to that color screen, mono out (who needs Left AND right channels), expansion slots, and QWERTY keyboard. This thing should have been the choice communication device. But, when put to use, the Tungsten crashed and burned like oh so many incandescent filaments. It was horrible, AEGIS’ Meetinghouse combined with the Palm brand web-browser caused seize up after sieze up. And after losing all data not stored in flash memory for the 100th time, the honeymoon was over.

After a 2-year trial separation, I decided it was time to kiss and make-up. And was delighted to find that there had been a few advancements, that turned Tungsten into Gold, or at least a usable wireless device.

The 2 big deals are:

IBM Java WebSphere - Basically a mobile JVM. This badboy opens up a world of mobile development to the Java Folk. Which leads to…

Opera Mini - A real usable web browser. Does RSS feed support, a half decent job on page renders, intuitive navigation, good caching. The only down side really is Yahoo! search instead of Google. With continued support this is only going to get better.

So yeah if you have one of these and were dissappointed with it’s Internet Capabilities in the past, I recommend trying throwing on these two gems.

“With seven Canadian albums to his credit and a considerable catalogue of top-fligt material, Mendelson’s career provides the production company and record distributor with ripe opportunity to convert his artistic abilities and image into mass market acceptance”
-Mendelson Joe Professional Resume
Edjoe Industries Incorporated

“I’ve got anxieties I cannot hide”
- It’s My Fate Cha
Joe Mendelson

Well whatever Edjoe industries had in store for Joe Mendelson in 1978 never panned out.

Joe Mendelson or Mendelson Joe, Musician and Painter come Recluse stands out, to me, as one of the most interesting characters in Canadian Music. So here is a piece together of what I have of his discography.

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Wellllll now, it doesn’t get much more old tyme than a hot shave. Credit due to my younger brother, who bestowed upon me a gift of a baby smooth face. Hot Damn.

Before getting into this let me preface this with a cautionary note. If you use a hot shave to get rid of a beard, may the power of a posse of dead wild cowboys be with you. You’ll need it if the steel hasn’t brushed your face for a couple of months.

I can’t bring to mind a better place to clean up my act than in a gun shop. Thankfully Pro Line Shooters II in Calgary’s Inglewood Neighbourhood offers just this service. Upon entering the store you are greeted by no one, just racks of rifles and various taxidermy-ed heads. At the front corner is where the Barber Shop is, complete with bright red vinyl chair, and leather strap for honing the blade. Doug is the ornery old barber who treats you with about the same regard, as you or I would treat a sixteen year old talking to us about rap music. But that won’t stop him from shaving the hell out of you.

To kick things off, if you have a beard, that gets trimmed down with clippers. Then, you’re laid back in the chair and the Hot Towels commence. With each steam filled breath, you begin to relax. Thoughts drift to killing a man or perhaps a rare and beautiful beast with a Remington Long Barrel chock full of double-ought. Every so often the towel is replaced and your pores open up, to get what’s coming to them. After 4 or 5 towels, the lather gets brushed on. And what should come flicking out but the straight razor.

“Now, don’t move.” -Doug

Now up until this moment I had always thought that hot shaves are completed in a matter of seconds, with the barber taking a few well placed broad slices, a few strokes of the upper lip, and done. I think this notion may have come from Looney Tunes. Regardless, that isn’t the case. It in fact takes the better part of half an hour, with the barber meticulously running his fingers over every square inch of your face, pulling your skin as tight as a drum, and taking hard short strokes with the razor. This process is repeated as needed, until it feel like every follicle has been rooted out of its happy home. Once, the shave is finished the real pain begins. The aftershave, I think it was called “Polar Freeze”, burned quite fantastically. Saltin’ the wounds.

Afterwards, some more hot towels are put on, then a super cold towel, then you’re on your way. With what I may add is the smoothest shave one can ever possibly hope to have, this cannot be overstated. I felt like I was 10 (17) again! And it lasted for most of the day before the slight gritty feeling returned to my skin. Glorious!

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Susanna Clarke Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell 8/10

Well naysayers be damned, Mass Market Fantasy delivers the goods. Susanna Clarke can write a tall tale and then some. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is for the most part a most excellent read. It is lively, an extremely well written, Clarke knows how tho create characters and it “shews”. While it may not have been short listed for the Booker, compared with other pop fiction titles of similar sales figures, ahem, The Da Vinci Code, this book pretty much buries them (it).

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Solanero makes a bunch of shitty wines.

Sola is as complex as it is delicate. It was inspired by “The Sun”. The sun is light.

Contrast this to its brother wine, Nero. Which is as complex as it is robust. It was inspired by “The Moon”. The moon is dark.

Light~Dark, Sun~Moon. Sola~Nero. Get it?

I chose the ‘Sola’ because my lasagna called for a white wine to blanche brocolli with.
Sola tastes like apple juice, which should appeal to the booming underage girl market. It has only the slightest hint of booze, and a double dose of hangover inducing saccharin sweetness. I imagine this would go well with a ‘Cosmo’ and a home pedicure kit, served at room temperature.

Tired of Vice Magazine incessant ragging on everything? Yeah, me too.
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Can you see my misspelled words?! Yes you can.
Take that Coldforged Wordpress Spell Checker!!!
Take that aspell!!!
3 minutes of use impressions:
-Glassy & Classy, default theme has been classed up a bit, home button looks a little gross.
-Spellcheck, I like it.
-Where’s my extensions? Oh, under Tools->Add-ons. Fair enough.

Get Firefox2, then finish your lunch (black bean wrap & grapefruit aw yeah!)

David Mitchell number9dream 3/10

When reading a book becomes a chore, that should be a pretty good indicator that the time has probably come to put the book down. Granted, there are exceptions to this rule; texbooks and reference manuals. But if you are reading for pleasure, and that pleasure turns into a tedious task, put it down. Had I followed my own advice I would have dropped David Mitchell’s number9dream around page one hundred and forty-five.
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The first time I heard “Rock the Catskills” I basically shit my pants. (more…)

I just checked my inbox and BAM! There is a notice that Shadow has a new ablum out called The Outsider. It seems like he’s not really trying to hard though. Gone are the multi-layered productions of sample on sample on drum on sample, instead you get far less complex production with vocals that don’t carry the weight. Where’s the flow? Cut Chemist’s Album was at least his first try, Shadow has no real excuse.

Track by Track impressions after the jump: (more…)