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When Kenny Roger’s Roasters closed its doors a nation wept, and with good reason. Easy access rotisserie was lost for the rest of time. Hoping to rekindle a bit of that magic, I set out to rotisserie a fine bird which I hoped to enjoy while Kenny belted out a beautiful rendition of”Ruben James” in the background.

ROUND 1 - Somethins Burnin’ (I think it’s my love…)

Well things started off just fine, I was thoroughly pumped, my chicken was peppered an stuffed with garlic. To make it tasty. I set it on the spit and let it roar along. Things were looking good so I went inside to finish up supper. 30 minutes later I went out to check on the bird, and much to my chagrin it had sprung loose of the motor and was resembling Tommy-Lee Jones in Batman Forever. Disappointing at best, but ever resourceful, I had a backup chicken should such a situation arise.

ROUND 2 - Always Leaving, Always Gone

There is Chicken Number #2 all spitted up and ready to go. This time I implemented the Mission critical “spit guard” (pic2) preventing any slippage out of the motor. Things were looking encouraging. I was checking often to ensure even cooking, and everything was going as planned. But about another 20 minutes into the cooking process the propane ran out… dag. So rotisserie turned to roast, and it was supper like any other night.

So the take home lesson is one does not just casually wade into rotisserie cooking, it requires planning, triple checking of all possible failure points, and a near limitless supply of resources. It is a style of cooking well suited to architects & astronauts, nary the common man. Perhaps this was the reason Kenny Roger’s Roasters wasn’t able to pull through.

John Bogle The Little Book of Common Sense Investing 5/10

Ever want to feel like scum, sleaze, or perhaps just a good old fashioned greed head. If so pick up a book about investing. It’s not so much that investment books are bad. But thinking about yourself reading one is bad, each turn of the page brings on another shank of self-loathing to the guts.

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Several years ago I was struck with a desire for palm-top computing so strong it rivaled typhoid. The holy grail of palm pilots of the time was Palm’s Tungsten Line. In addition to Wi-Fi (That’s right 802.11b) it allowed for Cisco LEAP Authentication through a 50$ third party app (AEGIS Meetinghouse), perfect for the campus’ overly strict wireless access policy at the time. Add to that color screen, mono out (who needs Left AND right channels), expansion slots, and QWERTY keyboard. This thing should have been the choice communication device. But, when put to use, the Tungsten crashed and burned like oh so many incandescent filaments. It was horrible, AEGIS’ Meetinghouse combined with the Palm brand web-browser caused seize up after sieze up. And after losing all data not stored in flash memory for the 100th time, the honeymoon was over.

After a 2-year trial separation, I decided it was time to kiss and make-up. And was delighted to find that there had been a few advancements, that turned Tungsten into Gold, or at least a usable wireless device.

The 2 big deals are:

IBM Java WebSphere - Basically a mobile JVM. This badboy opens up a world of mobile development to the Java Folk. Which leads to…

Opera Mini - A real usable web browser. Does RSS feed support, a half decent job on page renders, intuitive navigation, good caching. The only down side really is Yahoo! search instead of Google. With continued support this is only going to get better.

So yeah if you have one of these and were dissappointed with it’s Internet Capabilities in the past, I recommend trying throwing on these two gems.

Wow. Taking a page from the Book of Simon, a snippit from the Canadian Capitalist, and my own touch of desire for the exotic I hit up iShares.

For too long I have sat on the side lines of the Index Funds game. Calculating which one would receive the gift of my one G. But the Templar Knight’s warning from Indiana’s Last Crusade was always lurking in the back of my mind. I was mortified of choosing unwisely, lest I turn into a shouting skeleton and then dust.

Honestly I’m terrified to part with that much money to one place. Sounds stupid? Well maybe, especially considering I can’t wait to throw scads of money out of my account when I finally go to buy a laptop. Eitherway, I’ll go ahead and say that the $1000 minimum buy-in to mutual funds is persecution against the novice business-boy. A scare tactic to keep out the riff-raff. And it works.

Enter iShares. Nice website & logo, piss poor name, respectable parent company. And what a selection of ETFs. For those who do not know an ETF is an Exchange Traded Fund. These things are the Maynard’s Juicy Squirts Berry of the investment world. Basically you get all the goods from index funds, plus a bit more granularity, WITHOUT the $1000 to get your foot in the door. Sort of like the poor man’s lazy strategy.

But the beauty of iShares is the diversity of ETFs that they offer. Rather than just Tracking an Index (S&P500, TSE etc) they index sectors, commodities & styles Tech/Gold/Dividend/International/Market Cap you name it. This allows me to make an international index investment, without losing sleep of putting all my eggs in the High-Risk basket. So I can take my 1000 Dollars divide it to get some more diversity, on top of the diversity already afforded by index funds.

To get more on Canadian ETFs go to http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/etf . Thumbs Up.

Rad.

Farmer’s Markets are seen by most as fulcrums for hippie power leverage. But there is more to be gained than helping your community, eating healthier, and an aire of superiority. And that is premium foods at reasonable prices!

Peep game, 35.75$ brought home:
2lbs Wild Blueberries(10)
600mL Cherry Granola (3 - That’s right Granola)
2FT of garlic chili farmer Sausage(4)
1/2 lbs. Smoked Pike (7)
1 Jar Ginger Marmalade (3.75)
1 Jar Butter Chicken Sauce (6.50)
1 Puffed Wheat Cake Square(1.50 - snacks!)

While I admit the Blueberries were a bit pricey, all these things would definitely be more at your grocery store ( yes, even SuperStore) plus they aren’t even from the forest. I know I have shelled out over 5$ for Robertson’s Ginger Marmalade, AND SMOKED FISH! That’s the apertif du jour. The butter chicken sauce might end up being a bit of a gouge, we’ll see.

Want to front like you slaved over some home-style baking? Go to the Farmer’s Market. Need Moccasins? Try the Farmer’s Market. Safeway got you bleeding out the pockets for fresh herbs? Farmer’s Market has your back.

Rare and precious meats like bison, pickeral, and goat(???) can also be got en mass.

And the best part by far is you pay whatever the sign says. If it says 4$ you slap down a couple toonies and that is all. It’s like shopping at the Convenience store for Nerds , and GoldMine BubbleGum before tax was a big deal.

Move over Raspberries there is a new best fruit. The Moro Orange.

Drawing me in with it’s nectarine like colouring, dazzling me with it deep purple flesh, and sealing the deal with it’s not overly citrusy sweet flavour. I guess it is a type of Blood Orange, it is tasty and easy to peel. Pack 2 in your lunches.

After singing praises for Intuit’s Quick Tax We. I have to take most of it back. After 2 days of getting nothing but this gross post-it “Sorry, We are experiencing an error with this page *” note error page :

And  many more hours of dealing with, I’m ashamed to say it, Intuit Customer Care Support, and getting nowhere I decided to take matters into my own hands. And the god awful truth is heinous.

Turns out is was actually “MY FAULT”, and by “MY FAULT” I mean the programmers at Intuit’s fault. Seems someone decided that instead of making their validator alert users to improper input, they would simply, error the page. The trick was all in my phone number (306)666-6666 not an uncommon way to enter a phone number, I would argue. OH! But no seems that is an edge case that demands a kicking. After modifying my phone number to 3066666666 everything was hunky dory. Oh course this might not be a validator error, it could be a *GASP* SQL error. But I’ll leave the injections to the Russian hackers, and pray that my Credit Card & Tax info is safe in the mean time.

So perhaps it’s time to try U-File ?

“With seven Canadian albums to his credit and a considerable catalogue of top-fligt material, Mendelson’s career provides the production company and record distributor with ripe opportunity to convert his artistic abilities and image into mass market acceptance”
-Mendelson Joe Professional Resume
Edjoe Industries Incorporated

“I’ve got anxieties I cannot hide”
- It’s My Fate Cha
Joe Mendelson

Well whatever Edjoe industries had in store for Joe Mendelson in 1978 never panned out.

Joe Mendelson or Mendelson Joe, Musician and Painter come Recluse stands out, to me, as one of the most interesting characters in Canadian Music. So here is a piece together of what I have of his discography.

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Just watch them glisten:

10/10

It was the best of times. But University tax credit pool ends this year. What remains of my cumulated T2202/A credits from years of school will draw to an end this year. With it I plan to pay down debt and get a jump start into some serious investing for next year MacBook.  But in all seriousness I’ve pretty much squandered my past returns, and now intend to use this final one as a sort of parting gift from the workless gaiety of yesteryears.

To file my return this year I will be using QuickTaxWeb . There are a several advantages I find to going the online application  route:

1) Cheaper than the “boxes”.

2) Infinitely simpler to use than going through the much dreaded “workbook”. And NETFILE is the quickness.

3) Access it anywhere. This comes in especially handy when contacting Revenue Canada and you need information regarding a previous year’s return.

4)  It keeps track of all carry-overs etc.

Also, globeinvestor says I should be more concerned with securing myself a Wii, and that 28 is the key year to start “serious” RRSPing….duly noted.

I’ve been getting more and more into Californian wines lately, and this is one of the reasons why. For $16 you get a very nice wine, with a lot of fruity undertones. Not in the Strawberry Angel way, but in the way I imagine wine reviewers discuss fruity flavors. The wine hits the mark between sweet and dry. And unlike the overpowering alcohol content of other Syrahs/Shiraz’s, this wine doesn’t burn the hell out of your guts while you’re getting buzzed. I have personally bought 3 bottles of the stuff in 2 weeks. Recommended.

It is always a crap shoot when you buy a prepackaged dip, which is why I was pretty stoked when I shoved this shit into my mouth. This is cheezy-garlicky goodness pureyed into a cream of awesome. I bought this stuff at Safeway and ate it all with a loaf of crusty bread (which was stuffed with, literally, cloves of garlic). Highly recommended.

Wellllll now, it doesn’t get much more old tyme than a hot shave. Credit due to my younger brother, who bestowed upon me a gift of a baby smooth face. Hot Damn.

Before getting into this let me preface this with a cautionary note. If you use a hot shave to get rid of a beard, may the power of a posse of dead wild cowboys be with you. You’ll need it if the steel hasn’t brushed your face for a couple of months.

I can’t bring to mind a better place to clean up my act than in a gun shop. Thankfully Pro Line Shooters II in Calgary’s Inglewood Neighbourhood offers just this service. Upon entering the store you are greeted by no one, just racks of rifles and various taxidermy-ed heads. At the front corner is where the Barber Shop is, complete with bright red vinyl chair, and leather strap for honing the blade. Doug is the ornery old barber who treats you with about the same regard, as you or I would treat a sixteen year old talking to us about rap music. But that won’t stop him from shaving the hell out of you.

To kick things off, if you have a beard, that gets trimmed down with clippers. Then, you’re laid back in the chair and the Hot Towels commence. With each steam filled breath, you begin to relax. Thoughts drift to killing a man or perhaps a rare and beautiful beast with a Remington Long Barrel chock full of double-ought. Every so often the towel is replaced and your pores open up, to get what’s coming to them. After 4 or 5 towels, the lather gets brushed on. And what should come flicking out but the straight razor.

“Now, don’t move.” -Doug

Now up until this moment I had always thought that hot shaves are completed in a matter of seconds, with the barber taking a few well placed broad slices, a few strokes of the upper lip, and done. I think this notion may have come from Looney Tunes. Regardless, that isn’t the case. It in fact takes the better part of half an hour, with the barber meticulously running his fingers over every square inch of your face, pulling your skin as tight as a drum, and taking hard short strokes with the razor. This process is repeated as needed, until it feel like every follicle has been rooted out of its happy home. Once, the shave is finished the real pain begins. The aftershave, I think it was called “Polar Freeze”, burned quite fantastically. Saltin’ the wounds.

Afterwards, some more hot towels are put on, then a super cold towel, then you’re on your way. With what I may add is the smoothest shave one can ever possibly hope to have, this cannot be overstated. I felt like I was 10 (17) again! And it lasted for most of the day before the slight gritty feeling returned to my skin. Glorious!

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Short version:

tools.business-boy.com : a new place for tools to help you.

TSX New Company Listing RSS : first tool.

Long version:

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